Why More Women Are Choosing Not to Have Children

In society, one of the expectations of a woman is procreation; to give birth to as many as her husband, and family desires. After her wedding, family and relatives come knocking on the door in anticipation of her child. It’s just like the popular line in Nigerian singer Flavour’s song, “In nine months' time, we will come visiting, with a boy and girl.”

Once upon a time, motherhood was a compulsory part of a woman’s life. But not anymore. In recent years, a growing number of women across the world, both in traditional and modern societies, are choosing not to have children. 

This decision, once considered unconventional, is becoming increasingly common. The choice to remain child-free is influenced by various factors, including economic instability, career aspirations, personal fulfilment, and mental health. In many countries, birth rates are declining as more women prioritize autonomy over traditional expectations. According to the United Nations’ World Fertility Report, global fertility rates have declined from 4.7 births per woman in 1950 to 2.4 in 2023, with some countries reporting even lower numbers.

Here are some reasons why women are choosing not to have children:

Heavy Responsibility 

Raising children is expensive. It is a lifelong commitment that comes with great responsibility. Parenthood involves financial obligations, from feeding to education, healthcare, clothing and other expenses. In an economically backward country, such as Nigeria, inflation and rising costs of living make parenthood a daunting prospect for many parents. Many are forced to put off childbearing until they achieve a certain level of financial security. According to UNICEF, one in every five of the world’s out-of-school children is in Nigeria. In fact, about 10.5 million of the country’s children aged 5-14 years are not in school.

For women, it also involves emotional investment and an ongoing dedication to nurturing and guiding another human being. As an adult, taking care of yourself is difficult, talk less of being fully responsible for another human. Many women understand the magnitude of this responsibility and therefore, decide to opt out of motherhood.

Freedom

Freedom is another reason many women opt out of motherhood. Unlike previous generations, where women were often expected to prioritize family life over personal aspirations, modern women are changing this narrative. Parenthood limits personal autonomy, requiring individuals to structure their lives around the needs of their children.

Many women without children have the ability and freedom to do any and everything they wish. To travel, pursue higher education, advance in their careers, or engage in personal hobbies without the constraints of parenting. The freedom to make spontaneous decisions, relocate, or dedicate time to self-growth is an appealing alternative to the demanding nature of raising children. Freedom is non-negotiable for women of this generation, so anything that comes in the way is removed.

Career and Personal Development

Unlike past generations where women were expected to marry and bear children as a rite of passage, modern society provides alternative paths to self-actualisation. Thanks to advocacy to eliminate inequality and promote gender equality, more women are prioritizing education and career advancement. Most often, this delays or eliminates the desire for motherhood. 

The increasing presence of women in leadership roles, entrepreneurship, and specialized fields requires years of dedication. The world is moving quickly and people are advancing, no one will wait for a woman to have children and return. Motherhood, with its demands, can sometimes conflict with career progression, forcing many women to opt out of it entirely. Instead of being weighed down or restricted because of childbearing, they are pushed further towards remaining child-free.

Childhood Trauma

For many women, childhood experiences play a significant role in shaping their decisions about motherhood. Women who endured neglect, abuse, or dysfunctional family dynamics may develop apprehensions about raising children. The fear of repeating cycles of trauma or exposing a child to similar hardships can prevent them from considering motherhood. Psychological scars from childhood often lead to concerns about emotional readiness, capacity, or the ability to provide a stable and loving home environment.

Additionally, women who grew up witnessing strained parental relationships or financial instability may develop anxieties about recreating those struggles. Some make the conscious choice to break the cycle by opting out of motherhood altogether, prioritizing personal healing and well-being over traditional expectations.

Body Changes and Health Implications

Pregnancy and childbirth bring about significant physical transformations that not all women are willing or able to endure. From weight gain and body aches, to permanent changes such as stretch marks, hair loss, etc, the impact on the female body is profound. Women also fear the long-term health implications, including postpartum depression, a condition that affects many new mothers due to hormonal changes, sleep deprivation, and the overwhelming responsibilities of caring for an infant. Conditions like postpartum depression affect nearly 1 in 7 mothers globally, according to the World Health Organization. The mental toll of balancing work, childcare, and personal needs is another factor that deters women from choosing motherhood.

The physical toll of pregnancy and childbirth can also affect self-esteem and body image, leading some women to decide against having children. The possibility of undergoing multiple medical interventions, from cesarean sections to fertility treatments, adds another layer of concern. For many, preserving their physical health and avoiding the uncertainties of childbirth outweighs the desire to experience motherhood.

Despite the reasons discussed above, women who choose not to have children still face societal scrutiny. In many cultures, the expectation of motherhood remains deeply ingrained, leading to pressure from family, friends, and communities. Women are often asked, “When are you having children?” or told they will regret their decision later in life. It is important to know that just like men, women are entitled to make choices, especially ones about their body. Instead of criticising them, find better ways to address their concerns.