Introduction

A good 'no' is all about timing and logic. You should say no to things that are not allowed, cannot be done, or that, on balance, should not be done at that particular time.Most times, we say yes to things that we don't want to do or engage in as a result of so many things.

Saying no doesn't make you less of a human, nor does it make you evil. Instead, it portrays a strong conviction, empowerment, and clarity.

What does it mean to say no?

Setting boundaries

Saying no should not be seen as offensive or a form of disregard. It's all about choosing not to commit to things that drain your energy, clash with your principles, or interrupt your priorities.

That's why it's very important to set your boundaries early enough, because if your boundaries are not strictly set and your principles aren't clear enough, it will be difficult to say no.

Exercising self-control and wisdom

Saying no shows that you're wise. Being able to know when a request, task, or demand is not right for you at a particular time. Not everyone is capable of this. It shows that you're self-controlled even in the heat of situations. Anytime you say no, it shows that you know what you're doing.

Practicing clarity

Anytime you say no, you recognize what aligns with your goals and what doesn’t, then confidently turn down the latter. It solidifies your principles and beliefs all over again. It makes them stick and makes you feel more assured in yourself.

When should you say No?

 This is something people find hard to do. Most people are scared to say no because they don't want to make the 2nd party feel bad, but this shouldn't be the case.

You should know when to say no. Of course, it shouldn't be all the time, but there are specific scenarios where it's necessary.

 When you're feeling ill or drained mentally.

In this case, your No is needed. You can't displease yourself to please others. If you're mentally unstable, you won't be able to carry out that assignment or activity. Neither will you be able to cope with the difficulties along the way.

 If it does not feel right at that moment.

There are times when you won't feel like engaging in a particular activity, not necessarily because it's bad but because it doesn't just feel right.

If you know you can’t follow through with a Yes.

At this point, your credibility is at stake. On certain occasions, we’ve been pressured to do something, but deep down we know we can’t do it efficiently, yet we still follow through with a yes. Examine yourself. What do you want? What are your priorities? Stick with what you know and believe. Build on your strength. Let men see you for who you are and keep your stance.

If it will interfere with prior obligations.

There are moments when we're caught up with so many activities, obligations, and duties that we barely have time for ourselves. During this period, a lot of refusal will have to be in place for your protection and peace of mind. If not, you'll endanger yourself and end up wasting the precious time you can use to sort out other tasks. 

If it conflicts with your principles.

There's a verse from the Bible that I love so much, which says “let your no be no and your yes be yes.”

If a matter or task (whatever it may be) conflicts with your principles and beliefs, then you should say no without any apologies. Stand your ground on what you believe. This will build your self-esteem and confidence in the long run.

How should you say No?

 Saying no is a skill one should learn. It will save you from a lot of unnecessary stress. But how exactly should you say no?

 Be clear on what you want—stand your ground. Decline politely and proffer solutions that can help the 2nd party.

No is a sentence on its own, so you don't need to overly explain to anyone. But note, keep the Golden Rule as a mantra: “Do unto others as you want them to do unto you.”

Conclusion

There's a place for sacrifice, there's a place for love, and there's also a place for refusal, decline, and denial.

But by all means, don't risk your health and happiness just to please others. Preserve your time and energy for something worthwhile. You have the power in you. Put it to work.