The Fear of Growing Older

When I was in secondary school, I read a poem titled 'Panic of Growing Older' by Lenrie Peters. It quickly became my favorite, perhaps because the poet shares the same name as my dad. At that young age, the poem was just a beautiful piece of writing to me. I loved how it sounded but didn’t fully understand its depth. Earlier this year, as I prepared to celebrate a major birthday milestone, a thought struck my heart. I decided to reread The Panic of Growing Older, and this time, it hit differently. I understood the context clearly: the silent fears, the hidden struggles, and the gradual changes adulthood brings. At first, I was worried. Was I truly ready for all that adulthood demands? But deep down, I reminded myself that nothing terrible would happen. As I stepped further into adulthood, I began to see things more clearly. Many people say, “Adulthood is a scam.” To me, adulthood isn’t a scam; it’s just a reality check.

Embracing Each Stage of Growth

Human beings grow even if we do not increase in size; there is still that growth that occurs. Growth could be visible or not when it comes to the physical aspect. Growth is in stages, just like how I was taught in primary school that a mosquito grows from egg to larva, larva to pupa, and pupa to adult. Each stage should be embraced without fear; that is the reality of life. Human beings are created to grow; we are not meant to be stagnant. When does fear come in while growing older?

Fear comes starts from the age of 15. I used age 15 because that is when most teenagers start out their lives. Most of them start plannign to furthr their education by seeking university admission. There is the fear of not choosing a right and profitable course of study. There is the fear of not performing well and coming out with good grades. As they grow, the fear also increases.  The fear of not being succeful after school, the fear of not being able to care for their parents or the fear of not living purposeful lives. The fear comes along with every stage of life.

Another stage is the marriage stage. One of the expectations of getting older is to have a family. There is the fear of not choosing the right life partner. There is the fear of parental, societal and even partners' influence in decisions. There is the fear of cutting particular life dreams just to accomodate the dream of creating a family. Partners fear future behavioural changes from their lovers. We fear falling out of love and struggling with the pretence. We fear cutting of a promise made in front of witnesses and living the life created by societal stigmas about divorcees. We fear being stuck in an unhappy phase. 

The last stage, which everyone is scared of, is death; no one actually wants to die, and everyone wants to live long and embrace new things even as they age. We fear not living the fulfilled life before being cast to the ground. We fear loosing our loved ones to death's cold hands. We fear being alone when everyone else leaves.

Growing older as life progresses is naturally scary. However, it should not be something to fear; it is a journey to embrace. Every stage of life - leaving school, starting a career, entering a relationship, getting married, and facing the inevitability of death  comes with its own challenges and uncertainties. Fear often comes from the unknown or from expectations we place on ourselves or that others place on us. Yet, growth is a natural and necessary part of life.

By accepting each stage with courage and openness, we allow ourselves to learn, adapt, and thrive. Life is not about avoiding fear but about moving forward despite it. In the end, growing older is not a panic; it is a gift, an opportunity to live fully, love deeply, and become the best version of ourselves.