Why Everyone Wants to Be a “Private Person” Online

Making 90% of your life public to the internet was something that used to be considered a norm. New relationship? Post it. Birthday? Upload the pictures. Going on holiday? Let everyone know. Even something as simple as having breakfast, to weekend locations, may become content.

In recent times, people are increasingly conscious about what they post online. They may still scroll through Instagram, TikTok or X every day, but they seem to be less interested in making their own lives available for others to view.

For some people, privacy means not posting their relationships for example, because it's important for them to keep that private. For others, it's about finding a place without social media in their home, their work, their family and friends, and their daily lives. Others have ceased announcing plans even at all, only after they have happened. 

The shift does not necessarily mean that people stopped enjoying social media. Rather, it shows a want to differentiate between living and performance.

When Everything Became Content

Social media has made it so easy to create public moments out of personal experiences. A birthday is not just a birthday, it can be a photo dump. It's possible that a new job can be an announcement on LinkedIn. A relationship can easily transform into an Instagram soft launch. A holiday can be a carefully edited collection of snapshots and videos.

Sharing these things does not mean they're inherently bad. Social media can serve as a way to support celebration for many people, to connect with others and record memory for many. The problem comes when sharing becomes an expectation.

When it cannot be photographed, posted or turned into a story, people begin to wonder if an experience is worth having. Rather than enjoying a moment, there is an emphasis on taking the photo the right way, at the right spot, at the right moment and choosing what type of caption will garner the greatest response.

1. Privacy provides a way to get away from that pressure.

One of the clearest examples of this change has been seen in romantic relationships. Some couples post each other regularly and others make it a point to avoid social media in their relationship. They may not celebrate birthdays, be seen on dates together, or post photos together.

However, it isn't always the signs of a less serious relationship.

Some think that people ought to separate the fact that they are together from the public eye, so it can be shielded from unwarranted viewpoints. It is hard to recognize that the relationship was going on on its own, apart from its personal elements and disagreements, when they have made the relationship public and began watching the intimate moments.

There's also the fact that the internet never forgets. 

What was the perfect fit/post for you at 22 might feel uncomfortable at 28. A relationship that ended can leave behind months or years of pictures and declarations to the public domain. Keeping some things offline gives people greater control over what remains of their personal lives.

2. The Quiet Life Is Becoming Attractive

It's also the enjoyment of just living normally without having to be constantly recorded.

Someone can have a great weekend without posting it. They can buy something they have wanted for years without showing it online. They can travel without revealing their location in real time. They can celebrate a personal achievement without announcing it to hundreds of people.

The internet often makes us drawn to making comparisons on the web. When you're able to look around you and see everyone else is achieving, having a relationship, having a house, having a job, having some kind of a vacation, whatever, it all gives you the sense that everybody else is moving forward at all times. If you break out of that loop, then life feels more personal once more.

A quiet dinner can just be a quiet dinner. A new outfit can be enjoyed without becoming a fashion post. A family gathering can remain a memory shared only with the people who were actually there.

3. Wanting More Control Over What People See

It is not necessary to delete all social media accounts and to be invisible to be private online. A person can share fashion suggestions, humorous videos, opinions, innovative work or images without sharing all information about him or her. It's all in the intent.

Instead of "What should I post?," people now ask, "What do I actually WANT people to know about me? There can be a difference there.

Social media allows us to shape our self-identity but can also be a source for us to fashion a public image of an identity. Privacy gives people the freedom to keep certain parts of their lives personal without needing others’ approval.

4. The Influence of Social Media Fatigue

Exhaustion could just be another factor contributing to the shift towards privacy.

For years, some people have been posting, scrolling, commenting, and consuming others' lives, and they're just weary of withering away while in constant contact. There is a difference between being socially connected and feeling watched.

The more people share responses, more questions likely will be asked. Where are you? Who are you with? What happened? Why did you take that picture? Why haven’t you posted your partner recently?

At times, less is said better.

Privacy can sometimes formulate a wall between what is being done in the real world and what is being done in the online world. It allows people to make changes, make mistakes, experience and learn in their surroundings without the requirement to explain all decisions.

However, is Privacy Always Better?

Not necessarily.

Sharing can be meaningful, as well. Some people use social media to share such touching events with their loved ones who are living in faraway places. It can facilitate individuals to foster communities, share their recollections and communicate creatively. The issue is not about posting or staying private or not. It is whether they have a choice.